Chapter 17: The Bobblehead Gambit
It was the middle of the ship’s night cycle, and the USS Enterprise was silent save for the low hum of its systems and the faint footfalls of the skeleton crew on duty. Most of the crew slept soundly, unaware that an intruder had once again breached their ranks.
In a hidden corner of the ship, Robert materialized with a faint shimmer of light. He adjusted his stolen engineering jumpsuit, blending perfectly with the dimly lit surroundings. This time, however, he wasn’t here to steal. He was here to leave a message.
Tucked into his pack were several identical bobbleheads he’d painstakingly replicated aboard The Riptide. Each one depicted Captain Kirk with a hilariously dumbfounded expression, holding an armful of tribbles. The exaggerated pose and the comically oversized tribbles gave the figurines an absurd, mocking quality.
Robert grinned as he slipped through the corridors. “Let’s see how they handle a little personality in their command structure,” he muttered.
Strategic Placement
His first stop was Spock’s quarters. Using a bypass tool, Robert quietly unlocked the door and slipped inside. The Vulcan’s room was meticulously ordered, every item in its proper place. Robert moved to Spock’s desk and set the bobblehead front and center, angling it just slightly toward the chair as if it were staring at whoever sat there.
“Live long and wobble,” Robert whispered with a smirk before exiting.
He moved methodically through the ship, placing the bobbleheads in the private quarters of other senior officers. Uhura’s desk. Sulu’s shelf. Chekov’s nightstand. Each bobblehead was left in a spot that couldn’t be missed.
Finally, Robert approached Captain Kirk’s ready room. This was the prize. Carefully, he used his bypass tool to unlock the door and stepped inside.
The room was pristine, the desk neatly organized. Robert set the bobblehead on the center of the desk, pulling a tube of alien adhesive from his pocket. He applied a generous amount of the super glue to the base of the bobblehead, pressing it firmly onto the desk.
As he stepped back to admire his work, he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Good luck with this one, Captain.”
The Personal Touch
Before beaming back to The Riptide, Robert made two final stops.
The first was Engineering, where he found a secluded corner of the warp core chamber. Using a black sharpie marker, he scrawled Sorry, Scotty on the wall, leaving it as both a taunt and a bizarre gesture of camaraderie. Despite his ongoing sabotage, Robert had a certain respect for Scotty’s ingenuity and wanted to acknowledge it in his own twisted way.
The second was the quarters of a young female officer. Her room was dark except for the soft glow of her vanity mirror, where she sat brushing her hair, the strands cascading down her back like a waterfall. Robert stood silently in the shadows, watching for a moment as the rhythmic strokes of the brush filled the room with an almost hypnotic energy.
Satisfied with his work for the night, he activated his transporter beacon and disappeared in a flash of light.
The Morning After
The next morning, the ship was abuzz with confusion and frustration.
Spock entered the bridge with the bobblehead in his hand, holding it delicately between two fingers as though it were a contaminated sample. He placed it on the captain’s chair without a word.
“Spock,” Kirk said, raising an eyebrow, “what the hell is that?”
“This was left on my desk,” Spock replied. “I assume it was intended as a form of ridicule.”
Kirk frowned, leaning forward. “You think this is another message from our mystery saboteur?”
“Highly likely,” Spock said. “The pattern of their activities suggests a desire to disrupt and mock rather than inflict serious harm.”
Moments later, Uhura arrived, holding her own bobblehead. “Captain, this was in my quarters,” she said, her voice a mix of annoyance and confusion.
As more reports poured in from other senior officers, Kirk’s frustration mounted. But the breaking point came when he entered his ready room and saw the glued bobblehead on his desk.
Kirk tried to pull it off, but the glue held fast. “Oh, come on!” he growled, yanking harder. When the bobblehead refused to budge, Kirk threw up his hands. “Super glue? Really? This is what we’re dealing with now?”
Spock’s Theory
Back on the bridge, Kirk paced furiously while Spock worked at his console. “Spock,” Kirk snapped, “how is this guy getting on and off my ship? We’ve gone to warp multiple times. He’d need a warp-capable vessel, and we’d have picked that up by now.”
Spock nodded. “Agreed, Captain. It is unlikely the intruder is operating from a conventional warp-capable ship. However, there are alternative methods. For example, a cloaked vessel could theoretically latch onto the Enterprise and remain within our warp bubble. Such a configuration would explain their ability to track and infiltrate us without detection.”
Kirk stopped pacing, his eyes narrowing. “You think he’s piggybacking us?”
“It is a plausible theory,” Spock said.
Engineering Discoveries
In Engineering, Scotty stood before the wall where Sorry, Scotty was scrawled in black marker. He stared at it, his expression torn between confusion and irritation.
“Well, at least he’s polite,” Scotty muttered, shaking his head.
Kirk and Spock arrived moments later, examining the message.
“What’s this supposed to mean?” Kirk asked, glaring at the writing.
Scotty sighed. “I think it means he likes me, Captain. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
Spock examined the wall with a tricorder. “The handwriting suggests a casual and irreverent attitude, consistent with the psychological profile we have constructed of the intruder.”
“Well, I hope our intruder knows he’s about to have a bad day,” Kirk said, his jaw tightening. “Spock, if he’s latched onto us, find him. And when you do, we’re cutting him loose.”
Robert’s Reflection
Back aboard The Riptide, Robert lounged on his couch, grinning as he watched a monitor displaying the chaos unfolding aboard the Enterprise.
“They’re finally catching on,” he muttered, swirling a glass of whiskey. “Took them long enough.”
He glanced at the collection of bobbleheads scattered around his ship, each one an unclaimed duplicate of the figurines he’d left aboard the Enterprise.
“This is too much fun,” Robert said, raising his glass in a mock toast. “Here’s to you, Captain Kirk. Hope you enjoy the gift.”
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