Chapter 18: A Walk on the Wild Hull
“This is absurd,” Kirk said, pacing in front of Spock’s station. “We’ve got advanced sensors, the best crew in Starfleet, and the flagship of the Federation, and we’re being toyed with like we’re some kind of cadet training exercise!”
Spock raised an eyebrow, his hands deftly manipulating the console. “While your frustration is understandable, Captain, it does not alter the facts. If the intruder is using a cloaked vessel latched to the hull, as I suspect, it would not register on our internal or external sensors. A physical inspection of the ship’s surface is the most logical course of action.”
Kirk stopped pacing, crossing his arms. “You’re suggesting we send crew members out to walk on the hull? Like some 23rd-century spacewalk scavenger hunt?”
“Precisely,” Spock replied. “If the intruder has left any evidence—scrape marks, magnetic residue, or other indicators—it would likely be found on the ship’s exterior.”
Kirk exhaled sharply. “Fine. I’ll lead the team myself.”
“Captain,” Spock began, but Kirk cut him off.
“No arguments, Spock. This has become personal.”
The Spacewalk
Minutes later, Kirk, Spock, and a small team of engineers suited up in EVA gear, their magnetic boots clicking into place as they prepared for the walk along the Enterprise’s hull. The airlock hissed open, and one by one, they stepped out into the vacuum of space.
The silence was deafening. The only sounds were the faint whir of suit systems and the occasional crackle of communication over the comms. Below them, the endless black of space stretched in all directions, broken only by the distant stars.
Kirk led the team, his boots clanging softly against the hull. “All right, people,” he said, his voice clipped. “Spread out, stay close to your partners, and keep an eye out for anything unusual.”
Spock followed a few paces behind, scanning the surface with a handheld tricorder. “It is unlikely the intruder would leave significant evidence of their presence,” he said.
Kirk turned to glance at him. “Then why are we out here, Spock?”
“Because it is equally unlikely that such a covert operation would leave no evidence at all,” Spock replied. “Even the most meticulous actions produce traceable anomalies.”
Kirk sighed, muttering under his breath.
“What was that, Captain?” Spock asked.
“Nothing, Spock,” Kirk said. Then, after a pause, he added, “You know, this is the most frustrated I’ve been in my entire Starfleet career. Sometimes I just want to leave all this behind, go back to Earth, and spend my days with my horse.”
Spock glanced at him. “Your horse?”
“Yes, Spock,” Kirk said, the irritation clear in his tone. “It’s simple, calm, predictable. No tribbles. No cloaked ships. Just me, the open land, and my horse.”
Spock considered this. “Given your current emotional state, Captain, I can understand the appeal of such an existence. However, it would not align with your character to abandon your command.”
Robert Listens In
Unbeknownst to Kirk and Spock, Robert was nearby in his own EVA suit, magnetically attached to The Riptide, which he had detached from the Enterprise and parked a short distance away. His suit was equipped with a stolen subspace eavesdropping device that allowed him to monitor the conversation.
“Home and a horse, huh?” Robert muttered, grinning to himself. “I think I can help with that.”
Before resuming his own work, Robert reached into the small pack on his suit, retrieving one of his signature bobbleheads. He adjusted a tube of adhesive on his toolbelt, then began carefully moving toward the Enterprise’s hull.
The Bobblehead Discovery
Spock’s tricorder beeped softly, drawing his attention to a small anomaly in the hull’s composition. “Captain, I am detecting a foreign object approximately ten meters ahead.”
Kirk immediately moved forward, his boots clanging against the hull. As they rounded a curve in the ship, they saw it: a bobblehead of Captain Kirk himself, glued firmly to the surface of the hull. The figurine’s exaggerated expression, with tribbles piled in its arms, stared mockingly back at them.
Kirk froze, staring at the bobblehead. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered.
Spock tilted his head. “It appears the intruder has left another message. This is consistent with their established pattern of psychological interference.”
Kirk didn’t reply. Instead, he pulled a handheld phaser from his belt, aimed it at the base of the bobblehead, and fired. The glue held firm, scorching but refusing to release the figurine.
Kirk growled, firing again and again until the bobblehead finally broke free, tumbling into the void.
“Feel better, Captain?” Spock asked.
“Not really,” Kirk muttered, turning away.
A Hobby Horse Surprise
When the team returned to the ship, Kirk headed straight to his ready room, still fuming. But as the door slid open, he stopped in his tracks.
Sitting on his desk was a perfectly replicated hobby horse, its shiny wooden body gleaming under the lights. A note was attached, written in an elegant hand:
Ride this horse until you can get home, bucko!
Kirk’s fists clenched, his knuckles whitening.
“Spock!” Kirk roared, storming back onto the bridge.
The Fallout
Word of the bobblehead and the hobby horse spread quickly through the crew. In the mess hall, whispers of the captain’s outburst circulated like wildfire.
“Did you hear about the hobby horse?” one ensign asked, barely stifling a laugh.
“Shhh! Do you want to get demoted?” her friend whispered back.
Meanwhile, in the briefing room, McCoy stood with Spock, his expression a mix of amusement and concern. “Spock, I’m telling you, this guy is getting to Jim. He’s more rattled than I’ve ever seen him.”
“I have observed the captain’s increasing emotional responses,” Spock replied. “It is logical to conclude that the intruder’s actions are having the desired psychological effect.”
“And if Jim gets too rattled?” McCoy asked.
Spock raised an eyebrow. “Then we must catch the intruder before the captain becomes… emotionally compromised.”
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